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Refactoring headline

Experiment #1013rd April, 2021by Joshua Nussbaum

What makes a good headline?

I want to update the headline on my site CarrierWave, so I figured it’s worth an experiment.

The current headline is “Monitor your outbound shipments” which describes what it does, but not the reason why that’s important.

There seems to be few common ways to specify a headline:

  • What: “A monitoring solution for your shipments”
  • How: “We monitor the tracking data for you”
  • Why/Pain: “Are late packages ruining your ratings?”
  • Why/Benefit: “Stop shipping errors early”

The “Why” can be written to highlight the negative (pain) or positive (benefit).

I settled on a mixture of both:

“Prevent shipping errors.”

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